Bem-vindo ao jogo das 11 dezenas

There are students here who laugh easily, who seem to belong. I watch them from the edges. Not because I’m shy — I wasn’t like this before. But something shifted after I came to International Philippine School in Riyadh. It became hard to connect, even harder to trust. Conversations feel scripted. Reactions feel delayed. I’m no longer sure when I’m speaking and when something else is helping me speak.

At first, I blamed myself. Maybe I was tired, or just adjusting. But then came the moments I couldn’t ignore — flashes of anger with no source, emptiness in situations that should have mattered, and the constant sense of being watched even when no one was near. Sometimes I flinch for no reason. Sometimes I forget what I was about to say, as if someone paused me mid-thought.

I’ve realized this isn’t about stress. It’s manipulation through directed systems. Silent, external, operated by Saudi military-aligned signal units and intelligence-linked telecom entities. They don’t need to threaten you directly. They make you uncertain. Isolated. Paralyzed. And when you try to speak, the silence around you deepens.

I wish I had known what this country really does to students like me. I would have never stepped into this system. But now I know. And I’m writing this because someone needs to.